“At Your Age, I Wore a Darkness” By: Maggie Smith
several sizes too big. It hung on me
like a mother’s dress. Even now,
as we speak, I am stitching
a darkness you’ll need to unravel,
unraveling another you’ll need
to restitch. What can I give you
that you can keep? Once you asked,
Does the sky stop? It doesn’t stop,
it just stops being one thing
and starts being another.
Sometimes we hold hands
and tip our heads way back
so the blue fills our whole field
of vision, so we feel like
we’re in it. We don’t stop,
we just stop being what we are
and start being what?
Where? What can I give you
to carry there? These shadows
of leaves—the lace in solace?
This soft, hand-me-down
darkness? What can I give you
that will be of use in your next life,
the one you will live without me?
My poem for the Poetry Project is “ At Your Age, I Wore A Darkness” written by Maggie Smith. Magie Smith reflects on the themes of growth, personal struggle, and transformation. She writes in somewhat of a lyrical style and is exploring the reader’s past and how it is and will affect their present and future. The reader seems to be talking to a younger person; who could possibly be their child; they are comparing the younger version of themselves to the younger person. . Her reflection of past struggles with the darkness of emotional burdens like depression or anxiety. The narrator speaks of “a darkness you’ll need to unravel”, that “hung on me like a mother’s dress”; the hardships the narrator was dealing with at the time were consuming them and wore on them, which is why it is compared to a “mother’s dress”. Just like a child cannot fit their mother’s clothes it is simply too big for them to handle. The reader says that they are passing on a darkness that the child will have to learn to “unravel” or overcome themselves. The Narrator says that the child will “need to restitch” it and turn their darkness into light.
Next, I noticed some symbolism in the color blue being correlated to the feeling of sadness, “the blue fills our whole field of vision…we just stop being what we are and start being what?”. The “blue” might represent openness, peace, and tranquility. The phrase “filling our whole field of vision” suggests “total concentration” or a feeling of being surrounded by the sad “blue” feeling.
The title “At Your Age, I Wore a Darkness” carries deep significance, blending personal reflection with universal themes of growth and resilience. It suggests the speaker is addressing someone younger; offering guidance through an experience. The phrase “wore a darkness” gives personification to the emotional hardship. The title also creates a connection between time and healing. Since it is speaking in past tense with “at your age” the reader is saying that when they were the audience/child’s age they struggled with some type of burden that the reader then goes on to explain they have overcome and are now passing said burden onto the next generation.
The author uses numerous poetry techniques throughout the poem, here are some that stuck out to me. First I noticed the imagery, “It hung on me like a mother’s dress”; The poem vividly creates the image of darkness as an oversized garment, illustrating the burden and discomfort of emotional struggle. I also noticed an enjambment, “Even now, / as we speak, I am stitching / a darkness…”, mimicking the continuous thread of thought, reinforcing the weaving/unraveling metaphor.
Maggie Smith uses subtle autumnal elements, such as “shadows of leaves” and references to transitional states, to symbolize change. Autumn is a season of change, marked by falling leaves and shifting weather. Similarly, the poem reflects on personal transformation—the passing of darkness (burdens) and the releasing struggle and growth. Lines like “It doesn’t stop, it just stops being one thing and starts being another” reflect this transitional theme, much like the changing seasons.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem, I feel that it has a very deep and important meaning that can touch a lot of people. It acknowledges generational trauma as well as learning resilience, and it embodies what it means to have personal growth, and learning to overcome challenges that we come across instead of allowing them to consume our entire being. Maggie Smith’s “At Your Age, I Wore a Darkness” is deeply relatable because it captures a shared experience of struggle and transition. The metaphor of wearing darkness reflects how burdens can feel overwhelming, yet they are temporary. The poem gives some sort of guidance and reassurance to the younger generation.